Effective Parenting in Organized Sports, Part 2
Part One established a baseline/new paradigm for effective parenting - remove “win at all costs” from the playbook. This new paradigm features an environment where growth of all elements of the “golf game” is of paramount importance. So how will the new paradigm be realized? Read on.
Here’s an eye-opener for you. Failing fosters winning. Yes, it’s true. Research shows that early acceptance of failure in children helps them lead happier, more fulfilling lives. They develop a mental acuity that enables them to try anything new because they understand that failure is a temporary setback, hence a problem to be solved. They learn that by trying again and again and applying effort and structure to the task at hand any, and all failure can be turned into success.
Lowering expectations is the first step to reassessing a relationship with failure. Which in turn leads to a coping mechanism that accepts and builds upon the failures. Ben Hogan once proclaimed that golf is a game of misses with the odd success mixed in somewhere. Or lots of failure with a smidge of success.
Amazing but true: to shoot even par can mean missing 18 first putts. To shoot 90 can mean missing 18 first putts and 18 second putts. Lots of failure. Only 26% of the 80 million worldwide golfers break 90 consistently. Even more failure. An eye-popping low number attain scratch status. Incredible failure. An almost infinitesimal small number of golfers achieve greatness. You get the failure narrative!
Better yet consider “failure” at golf in a running framework. To wit - clear and precise mental measurements defining winning, losing, and greatness are established internally.
As we stated in part one, the outcome of any endeavor cannot be controlled. But effort, and a commitment to growth is controllable. Process, structure and accepting that failure is a fact of competitive life, leads to self-realization and fulfillment of one’s potential.
Watch GLT Director of Education Iain Highfield discuss the importance of the process in determining success in golf.
So, get your child working hard. Help them accept failure. Rein in their expectations. Encourage them to grow every aspect of their game. Put process and structure in place. All these elements are controllable.
Winning the Masters, even for Tiger or Rory or Phil, not so.
GLT Director of Education Iain Highfield travels to high schools to educate and inspire parents to be more process focused and encourage mental development. If you would like Iain to speak at your school or with the parents of your sports team, please contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.